Behind the Hero: Xenogears & Xenosaga
by Erisurreal
Summary: Eris intereviews characters from Xenogears and Xenosaga. On the first episode she makes a report on Fei Fong Wong from Xenogears. Swearing, some violence and sexual content is involved. Open for Reviews.
1. Fei Fong Wong

Disclaimer: All characters and content belong to Xenogears. I only made up the interview and interactions.

* * *

Behind the Hero  
  
An Interview with Fei Fong Wong  
  
Classical music plays in the background and the camera moves towards a stark female sipping some wine. She sits up and clears her throat  
  
She speaks up. "Ahem, Good day friends and welcome to Behind the Hero. This show, we interviewed fellow characters of an enigma even Sigmund Freud would like to have dinner with. No, he is not Albedo but he is an aspiring hero with memory problems. I Ely better yet call me Eris; will proudly and hopefully get some dirt on Fei Fong Wong..."  
  
"Hello Dr. Citan Uzuki." She said.  
  
Citan sits up. "Hey, what brings you here today?"  
  
Eris looks at him suspiciously. "I have come to do a special report on Fei. Care to share your experiences with him?"  
  
"Oh" Citan looks around then fixes his glasses.  
  
"Well I always have to look out for him. I mean who knows what he'll do if he is left alone unsupervised." Citan explains.  
  
Eris' eyebrow rises. "So you mean to say he's a child?"  
  
"No, not like that, he's more of getting in trouble. He could've done something better like paint some pictures or take his prescription of Ritalin! That boy never listens sometimes." Citan nods for a few seconds. Citan keeps on talking for 4 hours and never stops rambling. Eris gets tired and gets off her seat.  
  
Eris backs away and meets up with Elly  
  
Eris calls out. "Hey Elly! Care to tell the viewers on your thoughts about Fei?"  
  
Elly lookst at her with a weird look to her face. "Sure! Um...what kind of thoughts?"  
  
"Well what were your first impressions of him?" Eris asked.  
  
Elly thinks for a second. "Fei was acting fresh on me since the day we met. He was jacking off while I was pointing a gun at him ready to shoot him..."  
  
FLASHBACK!!!!  
  
Elly looks at Fei ready to kill him. "Got a question for you...How the hell do I get out of this dump?" Fei laughs and leers at Elly's body. "Wanna see my slong?"  
  
"Just answer my question damnit!" She yelled. He looked down "Sorry, I was looking for a way out, too."  
  
"Damn..." Elly sighs and looks down till she hears a slight moaning sound.  
  
"How long are you gonna stand there? Hurry up! I wanna die a happy man!" He yelled.  
  
Elly becomes disgusted with what Fei is doing but somehow likes it. "What an odd thing to say...why are you jacking off?  
  
Fei struggles to talk to her. "Can't help it...it's the only was to get rid of my frustrations...just shoot me while I reach my max..".  
  
FLASHFORWARD  
  
"Wait...did I said that?" He asked. Eris looked at him. "Uh yea according to what Elly said."  
  
Fei asked innocently. "Really? They filmed me? ...so what I'm doing here?"  
  
Eris proudly stands up and greets him. "I am Eris and I am doing a show on you. I want to give the fans an idea about your thoughts and experiences."  
  
"Eris?" he asked. "Are you the goddess of chaos and discord? You're pretty cool in my book".  
  
A sweat drop runs down her head. "Uh no I'm not. You're referring to Eros."  
  
Fei smiles. "Eros eh? Is she hot or what?" He stares at her. Eris stares back and an awkward silences ensues. 5 minutes later...  
  
"So Eros, how do you get your powers?" He asked.  
  
In a rage she gets up. "ARGH!!!" She grabs a gun a points at him. "One more Eros thing and I will surely bring chaos and discord to your physical and mental state. And I mean it!" Fire appears behind her.  
  
Fei stares blankly. "What did I say again?"  
  
Eris shoots Fei. Fei dies from the wound. " ...DAMNIT!!" She yelled.  
  
Camera moves to Bart's Lair. There Eris is besides Bart wishing nothing bad happens.  
  
Eris sighs. "Now that I am on restraining order. I am happy not to be near him again...hopefully. Anyways here I am with Bart Fatima, king of pirates!"  
  
"Not king." Bart replied.  
  
Eris kept on talking. "Whatever..so, you and Fei have gone through tight spots. How did your friendship grow from a misunderstanding?"  
  
Bart thinks back proudly about the misadventures of Fei. "Well as I like to call it, it was all Fei's fault."  
  
Intruiged she listens. "Hm yes go on".  
  
Bart continues. "Well he kept saying that he can beat the crap out of me and made fun of my accessory!"  
  
"The feather on your gear?" she asked. Bart stands up. "Not that...it's my whip!" Confused she asked. "Why?" Bart looks at Eris and whispers to her ear. "You know...the way he looked at my weapon...it showed that he is making fun of it...not to mention he snuck up on my room..." He shifts his eye.  
  
Skeptic, Eris pretends to believe him. " And how'd you know about this?"  
  
Bart replies. "I just do, I have hidden cameras that tell me who went into my room." He then smiles evily. Eris is suspicious and then asks. "And how many hidden cameras you have?"  
  
Bart laughs and answers. "Just that and the ladies room...er whoops." He notices what he said and casts an attack on the camera. "WILD ARMS!!" The camera fizzles and melts.  
  
"Ack! Don't you know how much the camera costs?" Eris gets mad at him. Bart comes up with a strange remark. "Nope but you'll know how much you're worth!" Bart steals a kiss from Eris and runs off giggling like a school girl.  
  
"What the?" Eris asked in a confused look. Bart's giggling fades away. "Damn you Bart...I will get you!" She yelled at him.  
  
New camera moves to Citan's home. Eris calmly asks. "So hopefully you are done?"  
  
Citan rubs his head. "Yes I am but I am not sure how I received a bump on my head."  
  
"Oh I'm sure it's nothing..." She kindly says. Behind her back is a broken baseball bat.  
  
"Care to tell me about anything else?" She asks.  
  
Citan tries to think. "Nope. Not today, I have this splitting headache..." A loud thump is heard, a man steps in and screams Fei's name in pain. "FEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"  
  
Eris speaks out. "We can hear you sir huh?" Man reveals himself as Ramsus. Eris falls for him.  
  
Ramsus step in and asks in a stern voice. "Where is Fei?"  
  
"I'm afraid I took care of him if you know what I mean." She say. Eris winks at him and blows a kiss.  
  
Ramsus sits down. "So is he sick?" He then stands up. "That is great news! I can kill him!!!"  
  
Eris laughed slightly and play swith her hair. "Er no, I killed him." Ramsus pauses for a moment. "EVEN BETTER!!"  
  
Nervously she asks. "So mind going on a date with me?" Ramsus gets confused to what she said. "Huh? Yea? Uh What?" Eris changes subject before he gets a chance to think. "I mean what do you think of Fei?"  
  
"Fei? Hahahahaha!" Ramsus exclaims. "You want me to talk about him!? Don't make me laugh, I despise him since the day I was created...and yet he's so sexy. I ENVY HIM!!!"  
  
Eris stares into his yellow eyes. "You're sexy to me..."  
  
Out of nowhere a voice speaks out. "Who's sexy? Eros!! Come back here!" Horrified by the familiar voice. "Damnit!!! How did you survive?" Fei walks in. "I swear I heard Ramsus calling Eros sexy so I brought some chocolates and a severed deus to make Eros happy."  
  
Frustrated she yells at Fei. "I told you I am Eris NOT Eros!!" Fei didn't listen. "Eros it is! Please sign an autograph on Elly's boobs!"  
  
Ramsus becomes confused and aggrivated. "I thought you took care of him? How did he do it?"  
  
She gets a thought and angrily cries out. "DAMN YOU ZOHAR!!!!!"  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Har is with Krelian and speaks. "So I told Fei that he can get back to earth." Unaware of what Har has done Krelian asks. "Exactly what did he do when he came here?" Har shudders at the thought. "Ugh you don't need to know..."  
  
Krelian shudders as well. " I know how you feel..." Har agrees. "Yea, brought him back to life and set him back to where he belongs."  
  
Concerned, Krelian says. "I hope she doesn't kill him again."   
  
Har replies. "Nah I have the perfect plan. Every time he dies, he hops into a seraph and makes it start dancing disco. Even worse he makes it sing."   
  
Krelian then answers. " Ugh!You're telling me LOOK WHAT HE DID TO MY WELS!!"  
  
Anyways back to the show....  
  
Trying to get away from Fei, Eris says. "This is Eris reporting. And I am out!"  
  
Fei steadily walks towards her. "Oh Eros..." Eris gets scared at him. "Oh no! C'mon!" She grabs Ramsus and runs away from Fei. Ramsus follows after her. "I have a feeling something or someone is involved with this..."  
  
Eris snapped at Ramsus. "Just shut up and run!" Fei runs after them and sends dancing Seraphs and Gears singing DDR songs.  
  
END!  
  
On the next Behind the Hero, we visit Shion and her obliviousness.  
  
"So about Allen..." Eris waits for Shion's answers. Shion looks over with a familiar blank stare. "About what?" Shion asked. Eris slaps her forehead and sulks. "I hate my job..." 


	2. Shion Caramia!

As usual I don't own anything related to Xenogears nor Xenosaga. Here's an update.

* * *

**Shion Caramia!**  
  
The same classical music plays in the background as the camera moves to Eris. She drinks two cups of whisky in hopes to forget her last show.  
  
Eris: This is I, Eris and my last interview didn't go so well.  
  
**She drinks another cup.**  
  
Eris: Here I am to give an interview to a female hero of the Xenosaga Series. Shion is a character of unknown proportions, a smart and yet an oblivious character beyond her means. She is no stranger to pain and heartbreak and deeply cares for others. On this show, I will interview characters in hopes of what makes her tick.  
  
**The camera cuts to a scene in the Kukai Foundation...**  
  
Eris: Hello Allen...  
  
Allen: Where do you come from?  
  
Eris: I'm here to do an interview on Shion Uzuki. I'm Eris, host of Behind the Hero.  
  
Allen: Ah I see, pleased to meet you Eris. How may I help you?  
  
Eris: I just want to know about Shion. Now tell me, what do you think of her?  
  
Allen: Oh, she's a beautiful person, but she ignores me often. If she does pay attention to me, she just punches me.  
  
Eris: I see, so this is an unhealthy relationship?  
  
Allen: I wish we were in a relationship to begin with. Look at her ass for Christ sakes!  
  
Eris: Uh, yea whatever. I'll leave you alone with whatever you're doing...  
  
**Eris leaves the scene.  
**  
Allen: Sigh, no one likes to talk to me...  
  
**Allen goes to his bedroom with a porn magazine in hand. Meanwhile Eris stumbles into another character. She spots Gaignun smoking a pipe.**  
  
Gaignun: And who are you?  
  
Eris: I am Eris, I am here to make a report on Shion Uzuki. I'm sure you know of her.  
  
Gaignun: Shion...hm, is she the one with the blue hair?  
  
Eris: Uh no that's KOS-MOS.  
  
Gaignun: I see, there's so many females but I can't seem to remember most of their names.  
  
Eris: Mind if I help?  
  
Gaignun: No, no I got this one...Shion...glasses..  
  
Eris: Yes that's her!  
  
Gaignun: Ah the brown haired girl. How is she?  
  
Eris: I'm the one doing the interview...  
  
Gaignun: Right, you see...I never got to know this Shion.  
  
Eris: I see, but you have seen her right?  
  
Gaignun: If you say so. Hm, I'm going to be late for my meeting. I'm sorry, I must go.  
  
Eris: mumbles You're no help...  
  
**Eris leaves the area and enters into the Elsa. She bumps into chaos**.  
  
Eris: Damn! Where did you come from? **She rubs her head.**  
  
chaos: I should ask the same.  
  
Eris: Hey! You know much about Shion. I have a question first.  
  
chaos: Sure go ahead.  
  
Eris: Are you really an embodiment of an extraterrestrial organism that emits energy waves, in hopes of bringing back a sentimental androgynous being back into the realm?  
  
chaos: Not sure if I understand what you are saying but I can say this...**He transmits his thoughts into her brain**.  
  
Eris: ....Not what I have in mind...  
  
chaos: Exactly.  
  
**Silence ensues for 5 minutes.  
**  
Eris: Stop reading my thoughts.  
  
chaos: Stop what?  
  
Eris: Ugh, do me a favor...let me read your mind.  
  
chaos: Are you sure?  
  
Eris: Yes!  
  
chaos: Don't say I didn't warn you...  
  
**Eris reads his thoughts and her face goes red...**  
  
chaos: What did you find?  
  
Eris: Something that involves you, the FCC and I if I say anything...  
  
chaos: Hm must be the sexual tensions...  
  
Eris: Uh yea, about Shion...  
  
chaos: Oh look at the time, I must go do maintenance in the engine room...  
  
Eris: What about KOS-MOS?  
  
chaos: She's an android, she has nothing! SHE'S NOT REAL!! JUST METAL!! UGH THE AGONY!!!!!!  
  
**chaos runs off and disappears.**  
  
Eris: I guess he saw something no man should see or feel...  
  
**She walks around a bit until she sees Shion. Shion is working on KOS-MOS as usual.**  
  
Eris: Hello Shion...  
  
Shion: Allen, I told you a bunch of times not to bother me when I'm working on KOS-MOS!  
  
Eris: Allen has a girly voice?  
  
Shion: Huh? turns around Oh! I'm sorry..  
  
Eris: It's ok. I'm more sorry of Allen and chaos  
  
Shion: Is chaos alright?  
  
Eris: I'm sure he'd be fine after the trauma. It was something about KOS- MOS being fake, but before he seemed to be doing fine. Well, he was being a pervert after I asked a question.  
  
Shion: Oh, he just does that to throw us off at asking who he really is.  
  
Eris: I see, anyways I was just strolling around looking for answers about you.  
  
Shion: Oh really?  
  
Eris: Yes. I'm doing a Behind the Hero exclusive on you.  
  
Shion: I must be honored!  
  
Eris: Yes, yes. I have a question. What do you think of Allen?  
  
Shion: Who?  
  
Eris: Allen! What do you think of him?  
  
Shion: Oh, Allen! He's a nice person though. Don't understand why he acts weird all the time.  
  
Eris: He told me that he likes you.  
  
Shion: He did? When?  
  
Eris: A while ago...  
  
Shion: He likes me? Hum never thought that my crew would like me.  
  
Eris: That is not what I meant.  
  
Shion: I'm sure it is. I worked so hard and my crew realized my efforts. I am praised!  
  
Eris: Shion, Allen loves you!  
  
Shion: They all love me! **Shions dances around the room singing.**  
  
Eris: ...  
  
**KOS-MOS gets up.  
**  
KOS-MOS: Shion, why are you not upgrading my internal drives?  
  
Eris: I am afraid that Shion is daydreaming..  
  
KOS-MOS: Daydreaming? What is daydreaming?  
  
Eris: Just something humans do.  
  
KOS-MOS: Do you have any business here?  
  
Eris: Yes, I am doing an interview on Shion. Just wondering though...what did you do to chaos?  
  
KOS-MOS: He wanted to see the real me, and I showed my mechanical fuctions. I am afraid he saw something and ran away screaming there is no god.  
  
Eris: Mind if you show me?  
  
KOS-MOS: It is your funeral.  
  
**KOS-MOS shows herself onto Eris. Eris finds something interesting.**  
  
KOS-MOS: Why haven't you run away?  
  
Eris: It's just chips and wires. There's nothing wrong with it.  
  
KOS-MOS: I see. Then why has chaos run away from me?  
  
Eris: Well, he probably thought your 'ahem' anatomy were real but were nothing but metal and stuff resembling what one would see on ER.  
  
KOS-MOS: I understand.  
  
Eris: Yep, nothing to worry about.  
  
Shion: KOS-MOS, what are you doing?  
  
KOS-MOS: Shion I..  
  
Shion: You're not supposed to be up yet. How many times should I tell you that you can't be activated with your body opened up!  
  
Eris: I should go...  
  
**Shion keeps babbling while Eris leaves the room.**  
  
Eris: Whew...and I thought I never get away. Wait, what is this room?  
  
????: Allow me to show you...  
  
Eris: Who the heck are you?  
  
????: I am what they call testament.  
  
Blue Cloak: No you're not! Why are you such a liar boss?  
  
Wilhelm: ...Do you have to ruin my plans?  
  
Blue Cloak: Yes I do, I must be included in your plans!  
  
**Wilhelm presses a button. A hole opens and the Blue Cloak falls below.  
**  
Wilhelm: Go do some stuff whatever you testaments do.  
  
Eris: Ooooookaaaaaaaay....  
  
Wilhelm: I'm sorry for what has happened. Blue is not supposed to bring in people into my office...  
  
Eris: Um right. What am I doing here?  
  
Wilhelm: I was expecting someone else, but you'll do.  
  
Eris: Riiight.  
  
Wilhelm: I sense some sarcasm, mind if I ask why?  
  
Eris: I was just doing an interview.  
  
Wilhelm: I see, doing a report on one of my employees?  
  
Eris: Yes, sir.  
  
Wilhelm: Looks like you didn't get much out of it.  
  
Eris: How do you know?  
  
Wilhelm: I just do. Now forgive me for this incident I have cause and here's something for your troubles.  
  
**Wilhelm gives Eris some money of about 1,000.  
**  
Eris: Cool, money. Wait, I have a question!  
  
Wilhelm: You have 30 seconds.  
  
Eris: Well, how old are you? How do you become CEO of Vector? Where is the Zohar? I got a score to settle with it.  
  
Wilhelm: That's 3 questions but okay, I'll answer.  
  
Eris: Good.  
  
Wilhelm: I don't reveal my personal information to anyone. I became head of Vector because I founded it. I do not wish to reveal the whereabouts of Zohar. Since you are on a quest to fight against it, how about if you become part of my group?  
  
Eris: Uh no thanks.  
  
Wilhelm: Well, that's your decision. I'll give you time to think about it, until then goodbye.  
  
Eris: Eh?  
  
**Eris wakes up and is in the halls of the Elsa.**  
  
Eris: What the? Where am I?  
  
KOS-MOS: She has regained consciousness.  
  
Shion: Good, I was starting to worry about you. Are you all right?  
  
Eris: Yes I'm fine. What just happened?  
  
chaos: It seems you bumped your head. I'm sorry, you seem to catch me at the wrong time.  
  
Shion: Yes that is what happened, what were you doing anyway?  
  
Eris: I was doing an interview on you, Shion.  
  
Shion: Hm yes that was before the accident. I'm sure chaos took great care of you. You were out for 2 days.  
  
Eris: WHAT?  
  
chaos: Yes, I took great care of you. **chaos winks at Eris.  
**  
Eris: Huh?  
  
Shion: Rest now Eris, you need to relax until you recover completely. C'mon KOS-MOS.  
  
KOS-MOS: Affirmative.  
  
**Shion and KOS-MOS leaves the room.**  
  
Eris: Exactly what is going on here?  
  
chaos: Well if you needed to know... **He whispers into her ear.  
**  
Eris: O.O WHAT!?  
  
chaos: Funny, you weren't like that in the engine room.  
  
Eris: Was I drunk?  
  
chaos: Too drunk. Well I must go now.  
  
**chaos leaves the room. Eris looks at the Cameraman...**  
  
Cameraman: What?  
  
Eris: Whatever footage you have of whatever I did, burn it!  
  
Cameraman: Would it be better if you just keep it? You have to know what happened.  
  
Eris: Yeah whatever, another souvenir for me. First the severed Deus and now a video tape of a scandal in the engine room...  
  
Cameraman: Relax, at least no one but us three know about it.  
  
Eris: You're right. Once I recover, I will stay away from these people. They're insane!  
  
Cameraman: What about Albedo?  
  
Eris: Hm, he's insanity himself. I should do an interview of him.  
  
Cameraman: What about the Zohar?  
  
Eris: I'll get my revenge on it...I will get my revenge...  
  
Cameraman: Ugh ok...so how was the coma?  
  
Eris: Did I spoke with Wilhelm?  
  
Cameraman: You never did.  
  
Eris: I could've sworn I did...  
  
Cameraman: Nope you were too busy and drunk getting knocked up.  
  
Eris: ...  
  
**Eris throws a chair at the Cameraman killing him.**


	3. The What?

**I do not own Xenogears nor Xenosaga. The interactions are made up and made for fun.

* * *

**

**The What?  
**  
**The set changes to a X-mas in July theme as the camera pans to a cheery host. X-mas tunes play softly in the background.**  
  
Eris: Welcome everyone and here I am to give you all a special. Not only do I get to interview one, I interview many villians you all know and love...or hate.  
  
**Eris looks around the set and shakes her head.**  
  
Eris: Tsk, tsk, not even Halloween can suit the Villains' personalities. But that will do!  
  
Cameraman: It's the only theme we have.  
  
Eris: It is?  
  
Cameraman: Yes, we only have enough money for that!  
  
Eris: Well I'll be damned...  
  
Cameraman: About the villains...  
  
Eris: What about them?  
  
Cameraman: Are you sure we can do this? We've only been here for two shows and it got screwed up. What makes it possible for having a Villains' Special if we only did 2 damn shows?  
  
Eris: ...I see you have a point there.  
  
Cameraman: So, we'll do someone else?  
  
Eris: I suppose we could. Who can we talk about?  
  
Cameraman: I have a better suggestion.  
  
Eris: And that is?  
  
Cameraman: We'll do a 4 part series of hijinks; 2 parts for Xenogears and 2 parts for Xenosaga. This will sure get the viewers attention!  
  
Eris: Really? Sounds a good idea, we may have to put a lot of work to it.  
  
Cameraman: So you'll do that?  
  
Eris: I'll ask the producer. Hey, Mr. Producer!  
  
**The producer walks into the set and faces Eris.**  
  
Producer: What's wrong with the set?  
  
Eris: Nothing is wrong! It's just that we suggested if we do a 4 part series of hijinks.  
  
Producer: Hijinks?  
  
Eris: Yes sir.  
  
Producer: ...Hijinks?  
  
Cameraman: Hijinks. Also known as 'high jinks'. It means fun and games: good-humored boisterousness, frequently including mischievousness and pranks.  
  
Eris: ...This is not Hooked on Phonics.  
  
Cameraman: Just helping out.  
  
Producer: I know what hijinks mean.  
  
Eris: Anyways, what do you think?  
  
Producer: I'm not sure, it will be a risk taker and there will be a chance we will lose ratings.  
  
Cameraman: Exactly how many have watched this show?  
  
Producer: More than you can count, Jack.  
  
Cameraman: My name is not Jack!  
  
Producer: Are you new? Eris, is he new?  
  
Eris: He's been with me since the dawn of time.  
  
Producer: I take that as a no. What's your name buddy?  
  
Cameraman: I have no name sir. I am just a cameraman.  
  
Producer: I see, can you count up to ten?  
  
Cameraman: Yes sir.  
  
Producer: Do you know this?  
  
**Producer pulls out his hand and extends his index, middle and ring finger in front of the cameraman.**  
  
Cameraman: I don't see the point of this but I see three fingers.  
  
Producer: Good, you get 3 chances fellow. Don't screw this up. I am counting on both you and Eris to get it right.  
  
Cameraman and Eris: Yes, sir.  
  
Producer: All right.  
  
**The producer walks out and yells at the crew.  
**  
Producer: All right you slackers, get your asses moving and change that damn set! We're off to a new start! Stacy get me some coffee. Where's the food? Why are there no food on the set!? Come on people, this is a working set; someone has to eat here!  
  
**The producer leaves the area.  
**  
Eris: Producers these days...  
  
Cameraman: Watch it Eris, they can see and hear you.  
  
Eris: I thought it was directors.  
  
Cameraman: Well them too but the directors are much fearful.  
  
Eris: Enough about that, let's get some rest and tomorrow morning we'll start!  
  
Cameraman: What about the script?  
  
Eris: ...We had scripts?  
  
**Camerman pulls out a script and hands it to her.**  
  
Eris: This is?  
  
**She reads the cover. It reads: "Game Scripts 101".**  
  
Eris: This is just a book on how to write scripts...  
  
Cameraman: Must have picked up the wrong one.  
  
Eris: I don't think we had a script to begin with!  
  
**Cameraman stays silent.  
**  
Eris: Let's rest for now. We have a long day ahead of us.  
  
**Producer enters.  
**  
Producer: Eris, you have a week. This won't take you a whole day. Better yet, you have two weeks! You start tomorrow first thing in the morning.  
  
Eris: 2 weeks?  
  
Producer: Yep. Oh! I must go now; I have a meeting with the network execs. Something about the FCC being assholes again. See you in two weeks!  
  
**Producer leaves the set.  
**  
Eris: 2 weeks? Do you think we'll have enough for 2 weeks?  
  
Cameraman: Seems like it.  
  
Eris: Hm, ok I'll go to my trailer and think about this whole crap you put me in.  
  
Cameraman: It's not my fault the producer liked the idea. Heck, you asked the producer himself.  
  
Eris: Fine but I'm going to think very hard about this. I don't think I can do this.  
  
Cameraman: It will be fine Eris. Don't worry about it.  
  
**Meanwhile in the depths of the Wave Existence...  
**  
Har: Uh oh...  
  
Krelian: What is it?  
  
Har: Something bad will happen that will cause the time and space continuum to rupture.  
  
Krelian: Meaning?  
  
Har: Hijinks.  
  
Krelian: Hijinks?  
  
Har: Yes, hijinks.  
  
Krelian: ...Riiiiight.  
  
**The camera pans to Shion and co. watching the TV.  
**  
Shion: I thought they were doing the villains!  
  
Jr.: At least we don't get to see Albedo singing songs.  
  
KOS-MOS: That would be quite amusing.  
  
Jr.: You know, that would be very funny...  
  
Gaignun: Don't push your luck.  
  
Jr.: You stay out of this! I want to see Albedo in the uttermost humiliation as possible!  
  
Gaignun: ...  
  
Shion: Jr. stop. This is no time for humiliation! If we are going to see villains, go watch some Wild West movies or something you like.  
  
Jr.: FINE! I WILL!  
  
**Jr. leaves the room.  
**  
Gaignun: Finally he left.  
  
Jr.'s thoughts: _I heard that._  
  
**A sweatdrop runs from Gaignun's head.**  
  
Shion: What's wrong?  
  
Gaignun: Nothing really, just thought of something. Anyways why don't we rest for today?  
  
Shion: I guess so. Come on KOS-MOS, time for you to sleep.  
  
KOS-MOS: Yes Shion.  
  
**Shion and KOS-MOS leaves the room. Gaignun is alone.  
**  
Gaignun: Quiet...too quiet...  
  
????: Want to mind wrestle?  
  
Gaignun: All right but first tell me where you are.  
  
????: I'm very well hidden...  
  
Gaignun: Okay then how about this...HA!  
  
**Gaignun opens the closet door and Jr. is inside.  
**  
Jr.: Damnit how did you know?  
  
Gaignun: I noticed you entered the wrong door, not to mention you were looking at magazines...  
  
Jr.: What? It's not like everyone else would like them.  
  
Gaignun: ...Go to bed.  
  
**Jr. grumbles as he leaves the room.**  
  
Gaignun: Finally.  
  
**Allen steps in.**  
  
Allen: Hey buddy! Have you seen Shion?  
  
Gaignun: She's sleeping.  
  
Allen: Oh...ok.  
  
**Allen leaves.**  
  
Gaignun: Anymore people?  
  
**Nothing happens.**  
  
Gaignun: Then I guess I should go too.  
  
**Gaignun smokes a pipe and leaves the room turning it off.  
**  
????: Why are the lights out? Hammer turn on the damn lights.  
  
Hammer: Hold on, jeez. What are we doing here anyway?  
  
????: I told you, to spy on SHION! SHION!  
  
**A door opens and the lights turn back on.**  
  
Gaignun: I swore I heard you. Hammer, Tony, get out now!  
  
Hammer and Tony leave the room grumbling. Gaignun locks the door and follows.  
  
**Meanwhile at Eris' room.**  
  
Eris: Wait...no that's not it...I don't think Gaignun would be annoyed by Hammer and Tony...ah well.  
  
**Eris continues writing ideas for the upcoming hijinks.**


End file.
